"You're quashing her dreams. Stop it."

"Be a Certified Public Accountant by day and a magic warrior princess by night!"
"She could be a leather-clad CPA dominatrix!"
"She'd only get licensed in Nevada."

"I'm not going crazy!"

"This is kind of the exciting part."

"La vilaine chaussure"

"I was drunk and you were recalcitrant"

"We could be Janissaries..."
"They're not eunuchs."
"Yeah, but they're still cool."

"I won't tell you his outlaw fantasy. - Anyway, what the hell was I talking about?"

"No cares in the world, except for bodily parasites"

"Should we be calling you Big Nurse from now on?"

"Why?"

"It's not clear why we do this. What is the point of this?"

"What is the first irritant?"

"Peshels in a bucket"

"It's so nice and small and white-picket-fence world of math"

"A social revolution of calculators?"

"What was THAT?!"

"It's good to flounder for a little while."

"Bad base"
"Bad base, bad!"

"Don't ask why."

"Did you just say 'growth or decay'?!"
"Isn't that spooky?"
"It's nasty! It isn't spooky!"

"Every problem has its... Special K"
"Doh!"

"Bizarre repercussions"

"I felt that you deserve the best."
"How nice."

"I need to get one of these hydraulic ones."

"Remember the UN? That place we don't pay money to, or something?"

"Pause... play"

"Pocket Hercules"

"NB: requires thinking"

"Don't get drunk and do math, you lose your good judgment!"

"Interesting little puzzles for ya"

"It's money"

"It's not like you shrink in height when you turn 21, I can't afford for that to happen to me" - said a short person

"In the year 2008, there will be hardly any chocolate left at all"

"My calculator just erases everything..."
"You have like the Windows '95 of calculators, don't you?"

"'Sophomores will be provided'... what's that say? 'S'mores'!"
"Roasted over an open fire!"

"My god, more people come out of here sexually confused than I've ever seen in my life"

"If he starts crying when you hand him a card, that's a bad sign."

"It'll make a big knobby"

"Does anybody have any drugs?"

"Work with me here."

"Deleted, distorted, and denied"

"I'm not on drugs now!"

"It's difficult to navigate"

"We put you in a closet to punish you... no, I'm just teasing"

"People in the peanut gallery"

"World War both"

"Back to the point"

"It's the talking cookies!"

"Kosher gum"

"Your house catches on fire, that's a bummer"

"Slap it to us, Mr. Eff!"

"Aah! Mind boggle!"

"It's gone to the happy face in the sky"

"As an artist, she had to improve your obvious flaws"

"A mosquito flew up my nose."

"Mr. Eff, didn't you kinda see that one coming?"

"He's got a slinky and he knows how to use it!"

"It's because he idolizes Guglielmo Marconi."

"Suppose that my head is positively charged."

"Please pretend you're paying attention."

"Today we have no sun."

"Now that you have a greater moral sense, you no longer do such things" as use lenses on weeds, brothers, etc.

"Evolution, most people think, is a good thing."

"Build a better fission bomb, and the world will beat a path to your door."

"Vibrate, bitch! Now!"
"Nasty! Get a life!"

"Nush, you're a traveling disturbance."

"As might happen when you walk around the corner on a dark night"

"And if you mix puce and mauve together..."
"It's ugly."

"Is OJ in prison? No he's not. ...My digression."

"It's 2 a.m. in Spain, and I really want to know what I'm having for lunch tomorrow!"

"She's just one teacher who probably has a life outside of school."

*eros outside*
"Woo-hah!"
"Uhhh..."

"Tangents, we love tangents"

"Mental institutions, LSD, the usual English class conversations"

"Really badly out to lunch"

"He was also on a whole lot of drugs."

"That's nice, but."

"It's inherently an odious experience."

"Now there's something to look forward to."

"Does this like have a main plot we haven't gotten to?"

"These are complete non sequiturs here!"

"Hoo-hah!"

"Are you telling me there's dynamite wired to my car starter as we speak?"

"Foiled again - rats. Left sucking the mop."

"My master plan for today, which I'm getting an odd feeling about"

"One of my heroes of literature, and most people just think he's stupid"
"I don't mean to narc on your hero of literature, he certainly is quite the Odysseus character." - (Sammy in Updike's "A&P")

"What the hell's that mean?"

"She's more on the slut side of life."

"It's gonna be one of those days!"

"You look like a ventriloquist's dummy. Stick your hand up her shirt and make her talk!"

"Your mother!" - OH!

"Assuming I somewhat knew what I was doing..."

"The Eskimos probably go there for summer vacations or something" - the North Pole

"You're brilliant!"
"I aim to please."

"This is something you can relate to or something?"
"Don't go there."
"Shh!"
- this one really weird, funny, obscene scene in Doctorow's Ragtime

"I'm going to sublimate my energies... push-ups!"

"I have a little problem of blowing people up"

"When you're Swiss, they're fucking hills!" - on the Santa Cruz "Mountains"

"I can picture a dancing monkey"

"I am robo-goth"

"They both have clowns" - McDonald's and the government

"Enthralled with obscure logic" (see below)

"You'd make a good husband, you're very banal."

"2 hours of my life affects whether I become a janitor or a doctor, what a pile-o-shit" - on standardized testing

"Off to abuse the proletariat!"

"That's too many f's"

"Think of all the government power you could buy with $200 million, but no, you made a film with it!" - so much for Titanic

"So anyhoos, before the evil metaphor showed up, what were we talking about?"

"No, I'm just being petty. There's a difference. We have to differentiate between our idiosyncrasies." - upon being accused of sadism

"Not that the world should work in a give-and-take sort of way."

"If we were in the forest, we'd want slices of individually wrapped cheese! We couldn't even build a fire!"

"Whoa! That's holy fat mother homework!"

"What would wrong have been?"
"Well, something like 'no.'"

"It's going down this funky mountain"

"It's not 'total E,' it's 'totally.'"

"The question is, how smart are their clams?"
"Most of the world is mud. And I've seen a lot of it." - Dr. Robert Ballard

"They eat lederhosen!"

"You're gonna like [it] because it gives you choices in life"

"You have to say it really loud with your hands like this [demonstrating], though: DOSTOYEVSKY"

"Note that she has just dissed the teacher. I notice a trend here."

"She'll like actually physically give birth to a cow"

"A boy or a girl, I don't think there's anything else"

"I failed you!"

"Formula 'R' Us"

The eternal question: "What's the point of doing this?" (this will recur often)

"What are these useful for?"
"That's a good question." (See?)

"You're in a little village, there's nowhere to go, nothing to do, so it becomes pretty exciting" - on figuring out lots o' math

"I like your ying-yang thetas there... it looks more provocative"

"The point? Oh, the point! Here's the point!" (I would call this an indictment of pre-cal overall)

"It just sort of goes around and around"

"Whatever."

"Oh please can we?"

"When things are dull and you have nothing else"
"I hope I never get to that point in my life."

"I'm afraid of conservatives"

"A new irritant"

"Going Greek" (oh my)

<sarcasm>"What's going on in *our little community*"</sarcasm>

"No, we actually went into the Mariana Trench and fooled around with deer"

"Start at the beginning, do-re-mi"

"I had a point that I was going to, and I forgot what it was"

"That's part of the new age math pedagogy"

"Moose magnetic beanie"

"Oh gosh, where was I going with this?"

On an international math exam, "We beat Cyprus!"
"Wooo!"

"I think she's working on her PhD in anthropology"

"The range is strange"

"What I'm doing... What am I doing here?"

"It's sorta gruesome, but we just chop it"
"Oh my god!"
"We're gonna hack it!"

"You get a cookie for that"

"This has nothing to do with 19th century literature!"

"I'm just going to leave you to twist slowly in the wind on this one"

"I hear you're a very funny girl"

"It's one of those logical quagmires, isn't it?"

"The little circle beep-beep?" - submarine charting

"It was El Greeko"

"Maybe a little trickle down South"

"What's the strategy?"
"Get chocolate into the blood. Caffeine."
"I like that idea."

"The calculator is fun. Hand is dull."

"The great They"

"You're all fools! All of you!"

"So there's your motivation. I thought just to break up the monotony of doing these..."

"How many little pickles do we want?"

"Let's do some daring things here"

"The y-essence is everywhere"

"I don't want to bludgeon you to death"

"Go into polar mode" - brr!

"Exactly about" 12 minutes

"Maybe I'm losing my mind..."
"Ms. M, if you are, you are not alone."
"The stress has finally gotten to that poor woman."
"I *am* losing my mind!"

"[It] looked a little like Mendocino" - colonial Hawaii

"He really liked war, except for being shot at"

"It's too bad that it didn't pass the PC Patrol"

On alcohol: "It ruins families, blah blah blah"

"This is the only time that she and I could meet on the face of the earth"

"I shouldn't make assumptions, but most of you have families that probably like you"

"Just goes to show you that your teacher tells you the truth... no, I'm just teasing."

"It's just the nature of the Beast."

"Things that look like they're from outer space"

"Cheap thrills"

"Waves of fear.... waves of joy!"

"Go ahead and flap its little bug legs"
"He starts boogieing along, bugging along"

"They built really really good engineers"

"My heart rate doesn't go above 80. I'm clinically dead."
"Heart rate? My heart's been stopped for five years!"

"I don't understand, it's like the essence of physics: bundt cake" - a practical joke our class played on the teacher

"Imagine a car with its horn on, driving circles around you."

"If they ended up disturbing a nation, that'd be kind of a bummer"

"Espionage and helium inhalation"

"You're so on crack, it's too dirty to be cheese!"

"Your brains would fly out of your ears or something."
"I hate when that happens."

"You should grow a beard and carry bongo drums"

"You look adorkable"

"You're not gonna get me in the sack by insulting me."

"I forgot to bring my bongo drums, but we will have class anyway"

"Have you ever heard my voice in the shower?"
"Yes, all the time"

"The nice thing about showers, you're the only person in the room - hopefully... well maybe not hopefully..." - he is so KINKY!!!

"It doesn't hurt THAT much" *sticking his tongue out* - see above judgment

"I just accentuated its strong points. Give it a pair of shades and some lipstick."

"Sugar-coated crack!"

"We need to unionize to get pieces of wire"

"Don't. try. my patience!"

"I think I'm anti-intuitive"

"A sly demon... of *death*!"

"You care, don't you, Mr. Eff?"
"Not usually."

"No, but they are all good nerds"

"Where did he go?"
"Into an alternate universe... of love and compassion"

"Uh, can we make a battery out of a pineapple?"

"The next Stones concert for the ancient Greeks"

"My apologies, but, hey, it's not my fault"

"Third tragedy in the trilogy"

"Come, let us understand together... or incidentally, if you don't I'll kick your ass"

"Everything sucks, and he can still say 'F you, Zeus!'"

"You think work crew is bad? The Old Testament God knows how to sock it to people!"

"These things predate the current precedency"

"Got to fourth base or not"

"Send her flowers or a nice bale of hay or something."

"You're weird."

"You're chained to a rock."

"Duh... tell me."

"My usual everyday pissed-off mood goes from a 1 to a 9"

"If somebody killed my dad like this, I'd be out for blood"

"The whore-person"
"His mother?" - OH!

"Arm-wrastled with Zeus" - we don't like Zeus

"The little Hitlers that irritate us all from day to day"

"Why he's f-ing Zeus... uh, you know"

"The guards won't let you in the gate, and they have guns."

"Let's not make any jokes about how one can get into the White House."

"That's just 'cuz he wanted to keep on bombing people. I think he was being practical."

"Hopefully the plot thickens"

"Slap this guy a Bible!"

"I don't really know what I'm talking about"

"Imbued with obscure logic"

"They bought a rug orchard"

"I can eat my peas however I want to!!"

"Do people actually pour rat poison into cough syrup?"
"Actually, that was my idea."

"Just to know the fact that I could kill her if I wanted to... it made me feel a lot better."

"I am a fireman"

"Take out his eyeballs with a grapefruit spoon"

"Electric bass" --> "fish"

"You've done a lot more acid now"

"He's in his own like spacey world"

"You get an A for effort."

"Take a 6-year-old, 'cos he really needs to get some"

"Just a long-haired bozo"

"I need to bake this idea a little more"

"I was like, 'What the hell?'"

"They're conveniently absent."
"Quite conveniently."

"Isn't his goal, like, to stare at humanity, not to stare at a wall? If I were the Son of God, I would do something more useful than that"

"Pull me a drink! -- I'd prefer not to!"

"So loquacious is he"

"Christian fundamentalist, sort of yahoo mentality"

"Okay, they're not undercurrents. They're kind of out there"
"Overcurrents."

"What are we talking about?"

"It's not like the guy was neutered at the end, you know what I mean?" - actually, no.

"Let him make pants!"

"So do I, but I just thought I was twisted."

"You can't just be a hermit, 'cos then you're, you know, a hermit."

"I would not say I am pulling it out of the air. I am saying I am pulling it out of Genesis... which has been around longer than I have!"

"But if they were to be in a war.... which side would they be fighting for?!"
"Should they swim? Or buy a submarine?"
"Is this about the Titanic ?"
"This is like the Ho Chi Minh Trail!"

"Is there a right answer?"
"Hint: the war is wrong."
"So the war is out?"

"I have never been so confused in my entire life."

"The book was entitled People Who Care Vols. 1-7, and my name is nowhere on it."

"Think of it this way... we didn't lose any money!"

"They taped over the house."

"If you don't know how to use a semicolon, come ask me. If you don't know how to use a comma, go ask somebody else. I'm not so great with commas either."

"They grow mushrooms" and it's all Congress's fault.

On the Stanford Linear Accelerator: "Can we rent it out for parties?"
"It's not a terribly fun place to hang out. It's dimly lit and it buzzes."

"Some ancient Greek Hellenistic or something."

"The Clan of the Cave Chihuahua!"